Hailey Wojcik Lyrics
Diorama:
Holden Caulfield
I’ve got lots of fake friends/ They’ve got lots of fake phones/ and whenever I call them/ they’re never at home/ I see them on the street and they smile at me/ but when I’m alone I’m always alone
And you make me feel like Holden Caulfield/ When you act like such a phony/ still I wish that you’d phone me/ phone me/
Your fake politeness makes me paranoid/ you’re so self-righteous/ I’m so annoyed/ I’ll laugh at you call you a hypocrit/ but I’ll cry ‘cause you don’t tell me your secrets
REPEAT CHORUS
I look up words in the dictionary/ I paste them on my wall/ so I can impress somebody/ if somebody calls
REPEAT CHORUS
You smile at me but you just look like a liar/ cause I know you wouldn’t piss on me if I was on fire/ and I am on fire
REPEAT CHORUS
I left lots of messages/ I left a trail/ leading here to where I’m sitting bitter cynical/ I left lots of letters guess they’re lost in the mail/ oh I left lots of litter to mark where I’ve failed
REPEAT CHORUS
Luck
I thought I’d make a living off of mason jars/ in case I fail at something that’s from the heart
but I found out it was only worth like three bucks and there are no returns so I’m kind of stuck/ so I just stuck it on the shelf right there/ and I fill it with the whiskers that I pick up
I thought I’d make a living on the Price Is Right/ but you know I could never afford the flight/ besides, what, just to play the game/ I mean besides they’d probably never say my name
REPEAT CHORUS
I thought I’d make a living on the Mega Millions but I only got one number right/ and I had to go to three gas stations at eleven o’clock at night
REPEAT CHORUS
Samsa Morning
My idiotic vapid pathological crush on you/ is masochistic massively unrealistic too
I think I had another nightmare mama (shoo bop shoo bop bop ooh)/ I think I had another nightmare and you don’t stop and you don’t stop/ I think I had another nightmare mama (womp bop a-womp bop boo)/ I think I had another nightmare and you don’t stop and you don’t stop/ do you
I had another Gregor Samsa morning/ as seems to happen most days these days/ when you just shamble up without a word of warning/ just to make fun of my twitching twitching insect legs
REPEAT CHORUS
My beastly self-destructive/ absurd counter-productive fancy drives me straight to mother’s ruin/ it is a most unwise thing in fact it’s pulverizing me you’ll see I’ll be a fine thing soon
REPEAT CHORUS
Don’t you have a pretty little mouth/ that doesn’t mean that you should use it/ to give me your best Mickey Mouse/ so don’t think for a second I don’t see right through it/ you think everything’s hilarious/ you smell like diamonds down below/ you’re mackerel-skinned and so gregarious/ but give me a goddamn break fucker/ give me a goddamn break fucker/ give me a goddamn break/ I have a condition you know (shoo bop shoo bop…)
Pumpkinteeth
I don’t know how many mushrooms I’d have to eat to find you attractive/ I don’t know what does your Saturday look like/ let’s find out/ Cause here’s an open palm and here’s an open heart/ and your guess is good as mine to tell each one apart/ but I guess it would be fine to just hold both out
And I’m somewhere in this tangle of colored lines/ this box of night crawlers this bucket of Christmas lights/ and the chance is slim and none that you got a one line right/ cause I think I’ll be fine/ if I just ride this train all night
I don’t know if that two AM palm reading could have gone any faster/ but I guess that I scared her when I knocked on her door covered in fake blood/ so she talked to me with the timbre of a local sportscaster/ and I played the part of Noah hearing word of the great flood
REPEAT CHORUS
Cause I like to watch the passing scene cinematographically/ the faces on the passing train/ flashing by me frame by frame by frame
REPEAT CHORUS
Cause these rows of empty orange and yellow seats/ cheer me with their pumpkinteeth/ make me forget about you/ almost forget I mean/ and anyway you’d think a psychic would’ve known it’s Halloween
Good Friday
Well it’s Good Good Good Friday/ and I took too long to rise/ I knew that it was getting late but I couldn’t open my eyes/ so I slept in ‘til the soaps came on/ and I took a shower ‘til the hot water was gone/ I knew that it was getting late/ but I still wanna save the day/ ‘cause I don’t have to work today/ and I wanna be Good Good Good Friday
Well it’s feast or fast just like before/ when we had our little holy war/ and you said we are just what we eat/ we are the blood we are the meat/ and what good good good’s a carnival without a carnivore
It’s almost Easter but it’s snowing outside/ the sky is just a solid white/ if we’re lucky it’ll melt by May/ but I just wanna stay in and play/ cause I don’t have to work today/ and I wanna be good good good someday
Well it’s Good Good Good Friday/ and I took too long to rise/ I knew that it was getting late but I couldn’t open my eyes/ I know that it was getting late/ but I still wanna save the day/ ‘cause I don’t have to work today/ and I wanna be Good Good Good Friday
IMAGINARY FRIENDS W/ BENEFITS
V1
I’m wearing your perfume sample like a scapular/ and it’s sucking the life of me like Dracula/ morning you were chorus and verse/ and I’m warning you it only gets worse/ worse
PRECHORUS
I couldn’t sweeten this deal if I slid down your chimney with it/ if I seem off you can just turn me on and in time I swear you’ll ignore it
CHORUS
So be my best imaginary/ very very best imaginary/ be my best imaginary friend/ with benefits
V2
This is why they shouldn’t let me out/ this is why you wouldn’t let me in no/ I gave my usual act of contrition/ and you wouldn’t let me pass go/ you wouldn’t let me pass go
REPEAT PRECHORUS + CHORUS
BRIDGE:
There’s a pricetag on everything about me/ and you can bet it’s going cheap/ you can bet you can have/ the shirt off my back/ the shirt off my back/ you can have what’s underneath
REPEAT CHORUS (but I repeat last line 3x, singing + clapping on the third)
PRECHORUS OUTRO:
I couldn’t sweeten this deal/ I couldn’t sweeten this deal/ I couldn’t sweeten this deal if I slid down your chimney with it
ANGLER
V1
I hope it doesn’t work/ I hope you make each other as miserable as you made me/ I hope it blows up in your face/ I hope it doesn’t work/ I hope you make each other cry I hope you make each other scream, but never in a good way/ I hope you get put in your place/
CHORUS
‘Cause you think you know but you don’t know/ you think you know but you have no idea/ you think you know but you don’t have a clue/ but I hope someday you do/
V2
And if you take a scuba trip I hope you lose your way and then you get into a bind/ I hope you spot an angler fish you think you see they light and then you get eaten alive
REPEAT CHORUS
V3
I hope he gives you syphilis and you don’t notice it/ until it creeps into your brain/ then which one of us would be insane
REPEAT CHORUS
BRIDGE (tenths part)
And I hope you think of me/ and think boy I really fucked up, man I really miss her/ then when you go home to him I hope that you walk in on him fucking your sister
GUITAR SOLO (verse chords)
REPEAT CHORUS
OUTRO
Amnesia
A cinderblock a bag of batteries oh baby please let’s catch amnesia together/ I don’t wanna remember/ it’ll just hurt for a minute/ it’s easy once you begin it/ I’ll walk into a wall/ you follow me, slip and fall we’ll forget it all/ let’s forget it all
Let’s get hit over the head/ just not so hard that we’re dead/ but so hard we forget all the things that we said/ oh/ Let’s get hit over the head/ just not so hard that we’re dead/ but so hard we forget all the things that we said and the things that we haven’t said yet
Honey let’s get obliterated til we feel sedated/ so we can recreate it all/ let’s fall/ let’s somersault down the stairs/ til we can say whose fault, who cares/ let’s tip back our chairs/ let’s butt heads with a bowling ball
REPEAT CHORUS
I wanna black out with you/ won’t you black out with me/ I wanna black out with you let’s go back to how it used to be/ back when our slate was clean/ when we were half as mean
Let’s hit the reset button/ let’s shake the etch-a-sketch/ let’s clean up this mess we’re in/ and should our plans fail/ should the effects pale/ we can always catch amnesia again we can always catch amnesia again we can always catch amnesia
REPEAT CHORUS
Zoo
I didn’t grow up with no brothers or sisters/ but elephants marmosets leopards and lemurs/ I guess I can use it as my excuse/ and I hope you’ll excuse me if I’m acting rude/
‘Cause I wasn’t raised among you/ I wasn’t raised to love you/ I was raised in a zoo/ oh I was raised in a zoo/
When I was a baby/ my mama told me I’m just me/ zpg/ ‘cause of zero population growth/ now you see, now you understand me/ I’m a manifest manifestation manifesto of a misanthropic oath/
REPEAT CHORUS
So I won’t be coming to your party/ but it was sure nice of you to invite me/ ‘cause I’ve noticed a certain tendency of people to stick within their own species/
And I didn’t grow up with no sisters no brothers/ just imaginary twins with blind mothers/ so I guess I can use it as my excuse/ and I hope you’ll excuse me if I’m acting rude/
REPEAT CHORUS
6th AVE
V1
You said I just crossed 6th avenue/ looked like I hoped that they would keep driving/ and it’s true halfway through of my crossing to you I thought about dying/ But it was just a passing thought/ everyone did what the streetlights were signing/
PRECHORUS
Still I thought of relaxing after the impact/ feeling weightless in fact/ from the hood of a taxi cab/ I’d have the sensation/of
CHORUS
Flying/ rising/ above you/ over the traffic on 6th avenue/
V2
Sometimes I’m so invisible/ with ten million faces around me/ and then when I see you across 6th avenue i’m glad that you found me/ still it was just a passing thought/ everyone did what the streetlights were signing/
REPEAT PRECHORUS and CHORUS
BRIDGE (+ longer PRECHORUS):
Sometimes I miss the train/ sometimes I meet a stranger/ and then we share a cab and then she makes me laugh and forget what I lack and about the impact and I start to relax and I have the sensation/ of
REPEAT CHORUS
Model Aeroplane
Lyrics by Hailey Wojcik and Tesco Vee
I built a model airplane just to fly away from you/ I built a model airplane and I sniffed up all the glue/ but no matter how high I fly I can never outrun you/ ‘cause you’re in my nightmares every night and you’re in my daymares too/
I stole that submarine so I could sink away from you/ you’re such a creep, that briny deep was all that I could do/ I floated to the surface just to shoot your airplane down/ our proud and blessed union had crashed into the ground/
I went to the confession cleared my conscience cleared my throat/ they threw me in the bathtub to see if I would float/ but I drank up all the water, so they had to make me Pope/ but there isn’t enough holy wine to numb a heart this broke/
Made a deal-o with the devil so I could watch you rot in hell/ he said angelic females do burn so very well/ he conjured, belched and bellowed as he stoked your funeral pyre/ he crushed you into pill form and washed you down with fire/
I built a model airplane just to fly away from you/ I built a model airplane and I sniffed up all the glue/ but no matter how high I get I can never outrun you/ ‘cause you’re in my nightmares every night and you’re in my daymares too/
I pray this heartfelt writing finds you racked with mortal pain/ ‘cause what you did to my heart left a mean and nasty stain/ just try and fly that plane again, you know what I will do/
To you just what you did to me/ but I’m more fucking pissed than thee/ you black-hearted calamity/ our love has turned to tragedy/ it’s all the fault of you, Hailey/ I beg to differ, Tesco Vee/ but on this point we can agree/ our love crashed to the ground/
